Hello Sarah
Your analysis shows a strong understanding of how sports affect the environment, highlighting both the negative impacts and the opportunities for positive change. You also made a thoughtful point about the role of policies in improving sustainability in sports.
Your recognition that different sports may need specific environmental strategies adds depth to your argument.
However, there are a few areas to refine:
- Sentence structure: some sentences need clearer phrasing. For example, "They have a march of improvement" is unclear—try rewording it as "They are making progress toward improvement."
- Grammar: pay attention to subject-verb agreement and prepositions. For instance, "Politics should already be tougher and in accordance which each sport" should be "Policies should be tougher and in accordance with each sport."
- Organization: your ideas will be more effective if structured logically. Consider first discussing current environmental challenges in sports before moving on to solutions and recommendations.
- Natural language: using more natural phrasing, such as "based on our readings and videos" instead of "with the articles and videos studied," will improve fluency.