Hello Linda
You successfully used important terms like "environmental impacts," "renewable energy," "climate change," and "economic and social disparities" in your writing. Your examples, such as NC State and the Philadelphia Eagles using solar panels, strengthen your argument and make your points more convincing. You also made strong connections between environmental responsibility, waste reduction, sustainability, and social fairness.
To improve, try to be more specific with phrases like "To do this"—for example, you could say "To reduce this carbon footprint" to make your meaning clearer. Also, combining shorter sentences can make your writing more engaging and flow better. Finally, organizing your writing into two clear paragraphs—one about environmental issues and solutions, and the other about social impacts—would improve readability and structure.
You successfully used important terms like "environmental impacts," "renewable energy," "climate change," and "economic and social disparities" in your writing. Your examples, such as NC State and the Philadelphia Eagles using solar panels, strengthen your argument and make your points more convincing. You also made strong connections between environmental responsibility, waste reduction, sustainability, and social fairness.
To improve, try to be more specific with phrases like "To do this"—for example, you could say "To reduce this carbon footprint" to make your meaning clearer. Also, combining shorter sentences can make your writing more engaging and flow better. Finally, organizing your writing into two clear paragraphs—one about environmental issues and solutions, and the other about social impacts—would improve readability and structure.